My Brilliant Child

I have to start this post with a few background facts.

1. My daughter is a sophomore in high school, is on the honor roll and taking 3 honors classes. She is so smart, she lettered in smartness. It is what we like to call "book smart". However, she has a little trouble with the application of said smartness. I am positive that she is the dumbest smart person I know! I'm serious!

2. My nephew is two and asthmatic. Frequently during this time of year he needs breathing treatments via a nebulizer. (If you do not know what that is - google it!) He is also very smart and will let you know when he needs said treatment.

Ok, so tonight Brad and Rebecca joined us on our monthly date at the dinner theatre. On these nights we usually hire a sitter and let the teenagers go somewhere they want. Lyndsey had soccer duty before she left for the night. We had just begun our date when my phone rang. It was Lyndsey, she wanted to speak with Rebecca. She said that Talan was coughing and wanted to know if she could give him a breathing treatment. Rebecca said it would be fine and walked her through what meds should go in and how to hook it up.

When we arrived home, this is what we saw:

For those of you familiar with what the nebulizer mask is supposed to look like, she did not attach the top of the med container, but rather just forced it onto the bottom. Perhaps the next picture explains it better, the missing piece is next to the mask.

See the top screws onto the bottom, and then the mask fits onto the tube. Now I know for those of you who have not ever seen one of these, you may be on my daughters defense. But please note that in the same place she found these parts, was a mask already put together. (Its the one on the left).

So as usual, we are not really sure how she completed the treatment, how the meds didn't spill out, how Talan is not on a steroid high right now.

Again, I am sure that many of you are still stumped, not yet rolling off your chairs at the dumbness of our smart child? Perhaps a little more background. I must warn you that these are real life incidents.

a. A phone call I received at work, a couple years ago. "Mom, I know I'm only supposed to call if there is an emergency. But it kind of is an emergency. The computer will not turn on..." huge sighs from me " Lyndsey, is it plugged in?- yes, OK, have you tried pushing the button to turn the monitor on?" "What button?" Seriously - you are 14 and you don't know the monitor also has an on off switch???

b. Family game night, some trivia game. The question asked to Lyndsey was " in baseball, when the ball is hit into outfield and not caught, the batter runs all four bases, what is the term?" Her response - "a quarter, no no, A good job" Seriously - you have been playing softball since you were 8 - and you don't know what makes a home run??????

c. And the winner is -------

Last summer Justin was at basketball camp during the mornings. For some reason she decided to be nice to him and get the lawn mowed early while it was still cool. Being the independent person she is, she didn't call us and ask directions. Ultimately she was not strong enough to pull the cord for the engine to start. However, she found another machine in the garage and figured that would work just as well, had no trouble starting it. In fact she was well on her way when the UPS driver stopped her, asked her what she was doing - she said "mowing". (and here's the kicker) He chuckled and said, "Sweetie, that is not a mower, it's a snow blower!" We are very amused and sure that so were all of this other compadres back at the warehouse. The kicker to this story is that in her truly lawyer fashion, she thinks all blame for this incident lies with the manufacturer of the snow blower, because apparently they should have put in bold letters on the side - CAUTION NOT TO MOW GRASS WITH. I believe she is still writing the complaint.

Lyndsey, we love you. You are a continual source of comedy for our household and we don't know what we would do without you. But REALLY - just take a moment, engage brain, follow through :)